Marriages have their ups and downs. Recently, research has identified that divorce happens early in the relationship (in the first seven years, average 5.2 years) or around 16-20 years (average 16.4) (Gottman & Levenson, 1992). Couples often wait 6 years after detecting serious relationship difficulties to seek out help! (Buongiorno, 1992). John Gottman, PhD, reports that his data on key indicators of marital satisfaction/dissatisfaction can predict within 91% accuracy whether a marriage will stay together or split.

Our Houston marriage counseling utilizes the most up to date research on marital relationships, what works and what does not. We provide counseling that works, based on research, not our own subjective realities.

Trahan Counseling will provide you with a four-session Gottman method assessment of the relationship, with a full evaluation prepared especially for you. The four-session assessment includes one session with both members, two individual sessions, and a final session for a review of the assessment.

After your evaluation, you may choose to continue couples therapy, at which time your counselor will discuss length of treatment, session cost, and treatment goals.

What are some divorce reasons?

Research indicates that divorce reasons include “growing apart”, becoming estranged, or becoming critical of one another. This may result in infidelity, conflict, loss of love, or substance abuse. Often this occurs because the couple has not learned healthy relationship maintenance skills.

Four key indicators that a marriage is heading in the wrong direction are:

1. Criticism- Increases in critical feelings and communication toward your mate.
2. Contempt-Increase in resentment, sometimes resulting in perpetual frustration.
3. Defensiveness- Avoidance of personal responsibility, especially during conflicts.
4. Stonewalling- Avoidance, unresponsive to one another, keeping one another out of communication or contact.

What are the effects of divorce?

Men suffer more from divorce than women. Despite where their children take residence, men have higher levels of depression after they divorce.

Children in divorce often report higher levels of distress due to the divorce. However, there are important factors that contribute to this distress and difficulty with adjustment including intensity of:

•  Parental Loss
• Economic loss
• More life stress
• Poor parental adjustment
• Lack of parental competence
• Exposure to conflict between parents

Please read more information about the effects of divorce.

What does a Divorce Cost?

Most people don’t factor in emotion as a part of the cost of divorce. Attorney fees alone can cost from $5,000 to $100,000+ depending upon emotions of the breakup, property division, custody of children, and assets divided. Custody battles and larger asset divisions increase these fees dramatically, and may result in $10,000 + in attorney costs. The average cost for a divorce attorney is $100-$600 per hour.

There are short term and long-term costs to divorce. Divorce often includes a division of property and assets. This also includes division of ownership of businesses or holdings in business. Most people forget that division of assets means division of retirement and savings, which in the long run can cost each individual because of the loss of interest bearing savings. Long-term costs of divorce may include alimony or child support. The average child support payment is $350 per month. Because both parties may supply household income, there is also a lifestyle cost of losing a source of income. This may result in significant drop in lifestyle after the divorce.

How can you help us?

We will provide you with a free 15-minute phone consultation about your marriage, outlining our services and providing you with helpful information about marriage therapy. For more information, phone 281-935-0865 or email  Trahan Counseling.